Nadirah Muhammad, LMFT
Will is a single 29 years old male and confessed that he has never been in a committed or serious romantic relationship. He is starting to think about the possibilities of a long-term relationship and even marriage. However, he is scared to give up his single life and feels he may miss out on dating other women. Will admits that he feels lonely sometimes, but grateful for his family and friends that he can spend quality time with.
Maybe you have been on your own for what seems like an eternity? Have you grown accustomed to eating alone? Are you comfortable being alone?
Or do you find yourself wishing for that special someone to spend time with? Maybe you’re wondering if it’s time to move forward. Perhaps you’re ready to focus on finding a partner.
Answer the following questions when considering a long-term relationship:
- Have you completed education and job
training? Because work and school require a great deal of time, it’s wise
to get them out of the way before pursuing a serious relationship. Once you
have more free time, you’ll be able to spend it getting to know someone
special.
- Is your career off and running? Hopefully, the position you’re in at work is perfectly matched to your skills. There’s little job turmoil, you have some great co-workers, and you’re enjoying the work you’re doing.
- Sure, there’ll come a time when you’ll want to
move on and explore your other talents. But for now, you’re right where you’d
choose to be career-wise.
- Are you over your last break-up? Be sure the hurt feelings you had over the loss of a prior relationship are gone. You realize that the end of a serious, long-term relationship doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault, and you’ve recovered from the experience. If you are still dealing with the hurt, counseling may be an option.
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- Does finding that special someone consume you? Do your routine thoughts each day focus on having a lifelong partner?
- You want to see a familiar face each morning and make exciting plans for the future together.
- The yearnings inside you cannot be denied
any longer.
- Do you see all that you have to offer to a prospective
partner? Good sense of humor—check. Strong communication skills—check. Once
you recognize all of your wonderful attributes, you will have the confidence to
pursue a close, loving relationship.
- Are you in good shape financially? You’re working extra hard to pay off your college loans and current bills. You figure that within the next year, you’ll be living debt-free.
- The financial aspect is particularly
important because money struggles can add challenges to a relationship.
- Do you marvel at the love you see? Are you in awe when you look at the incredible connection between your parents, grandparents, or neighbors down the street?
- It is very helpful to have good relationship role-models in your life. The emotional security of these relationships seems to overflow onto you when you’re around those who have solid relationships.
- If you are yearning for a relationship, admit it. Your feelings are real and palpable.
- Have you done some emotional work and soul searching? In your efforts to find the personal strength you once had, you must look within yourself.
- Have you done your own soul-searching and journaling? Or have you seen a therapist to guide you through emotional situations?
- If you’ve already identified and worked through your own personal struggles, you will certainly have the fortitude to make it through the ups and downs of a romantic relationship.
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Did you truthfully answer “Yes” to most or all of the questions above? If so, this just may be the perfect time for you to pursue a new romantic relationship.
Although it’s natural to be a bit unsure when taking the plunge to find a partner, realize that you’ve met and engaged in close emotional relationships with others in the past.
Life is full of highs and lows, whether you are single or involved in a relationship. If you’ve been on your own for a while, you’ve probably had the time to sort out many of these important aspects of your life.
If you think you’re ready for a serious relationship, just go for it. Keep your eyes and ears open. The partner of your dreams may be nearby right now.
