Nadirah Muhammad, LMFTA January 27, 2020
Starting a new relationship can feel uncomfortable, as it takes a great deal of time and effort. When you take the time to find out important details during those first few formative conversations, you could be saving yourself from a rocky road ahead.
You want to start with a strong foundation of friendship and trust which is important when you’re building a new relationship. A foundation built on honesty can mean the difference between a healthy, fruitful and productive relationship and one that leaves much to be desired.
Consider these keys to an honest and satisfying new relationship:
- Share, but don’t go overboard in your first few conversations the reasons why your last relationship ended. It’s not only fair, but also important for your new love interest to understand what caused the breakup of your last relationship. This is especially true if you’re to blame. Your honesty and candidness will be appreciated.
Showing this new person that you’re remorseful about your past actions allows them to see how you’ve learned from your past and wish to do things differently now.
- By sharing your past relationship challenges, you could avoid repeating them.
- If this new person doesn’t stick around after your outpouring, chances are they weren’t “the one“ after all. Don’t worry – your match is still out there waiting for you!
2. Discuss what you’re really want and looking for in this relationship. Be authentic with yourself. Try not to paint a false picture of your expectations. Your new friend might feel flattered to hear that you see a “lifelong mate” in them, but be honest about wanting to take things slowly if that’s where your head is.
- Explain your feelings about what you want from this relationship and justify the reasons. Maturity goes a long way in getting the most out of any situation.
- Be prepared to give the same things you expect so both parties are treated fairly. Remember that a relationship is a two way street.
3. We all have strengths and weakness. Even your new love interest. Divulge your strengths and weaknesses as to how they have helped you in relationship and life. It’s natural to want to put your best foot forward when being courted by someone new, but the easiest way to lose that person’s trust is to portray yourself as somebody you’re not. Show a willingness to reveal your weaknesses, as well. Vulnerability goes a long way in inspiring the trust of others.
Let your new partner know that you don’t always have the best advice, but you’re the best listener in the world!
- Explain that you sometimes require encouragement to pursue something intimidating that you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t.
4. Avoid sacrificing your morals for love. Even if you feel your new love interest is the biggest blessing, it’s important to be honest about certain issues you can’t tolerate or those that might be deal breakers.
- Once you get things out in the open, there’s a choice. If the affection is real, the person will understand your morals and respect your position.
- It’s important to express your emotions appropriately when your new friend does something you don’t like so it’s clear that you don’t want it to happen again.
- Remember that your beliefs and values make you the person you are. Avoid becoming somebody else for the sake of love interest!
The sooner you address potential issues in an honest way, the closer you’ll be to building a strong, healthy relationship with someone special. Honesty is always the best policy! If being honest doesn’t give you the results you want, maybe it wasn’t meant to be, and something better is in store for you!
